The marriage pass by Briana Cole twists and turns and turns on in unexpected ways! In a smart, sexy spin-off from her Unconditional Series, Briana Cole continues to explore unconventional relationships and question all assumptions about love, lust, and monogamy in this tantalizing drama that takes the “what if” of a free pass to a whole new level… Can you really have the best of both worlds? He’s rich, successful–and has been faithfully married to his longtime girlfriend for nearly one grueling year. Because for Dr. Dorian Graham, too many women is never too much–no matter how loyal his wife, Shantae, has been since their college days. So when she proposes they both celebrate their first anniversary by spending a no-questions-asked, no-consequences night with their greatest temptation, Dorian is shocked, but can’t resist. Especially since Shantae’s wild-card younger sister, Reagan, is gorgeous, uninhibited–and the one who got away… It turns out one sizzling night with Reagan isn’t enough. Yet the more Dorian takes, the more she demands–and the more he suddenly has to lose. Soon, with his mind games being used against him and his every move checkmated, Dorian will be forced to go all-in on one last desperate play to win. But winning might just be another way to crash and burn… Drop In with us to find out how all the mysteries unravel in a tantalising story of suspense, drama, and straight up sex.
Briana Cole is an acclaimed author, motivational speaker, sex educator and actress. Her novels are known for exploring unconventional relationships and making readers question all expectations about love, lust, and monogamy. An Atlanta native, she graduated cum laude from Georgia Southern University and is a proud member of the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority. Her motto and ultimate drive toward success is a famous quote from Mae West: “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” Connect with Briana online at BrianaCole.com, and on Facebook, Goodreads, Instagram, and Twitter @BColeAuthor.Leave a comment for radio show guests
Have you ever stopped to think about yourself and your story? If someone were to write your memoir what would it say? We all seek some level of authenticity but have trouble removing the labels and finding our whole story. Welcome to Dropping In with Diane Dewey. In this program we’ll explore diverse stories on identity to help determine what is truly yours. Now here is your host Diane Dewey.
What’s the story behind the story? We’ll find out on Dropping In. Our guests are today’s original thinkers. Conversations that spark new ways of seeing what’s going on. We bring it all to the table. Diverse perspectives, controversy, loving and singular voices. Magically stories reveal the common threads that link us. Experience the joys, the fist pumps, the detours and the hard-won truths of those who blaze the trail so that we might do the same and now here’s your host Diane Dewey.
Diane: Welcome to Dropping In everyone. Today is the full moon in Aquarius which we know from the musical Hair is the time to disrobe and let the sun shine in. In the spirit of collective progressiveness our guest today is acclaimed author actress and sex educator Briana Cole to discuss her new buzzing novel The Marriage Pass. Welcome Brianna.
Briana: Hi. Thanks Diane. Thanks for having me.
Diane: So great to be with you. It was a buzzy novel. It is a buzzy novel. I was thrilled to read it. I’ll just give some background. The Marriage Past follows Dr. Dorian Graham whose wife proposes they both spend a no consequences, no questions after night with their greatest temptations for their one-year anniversary. Dorian can’t resist especially because his wife’s younger sister is the one who got away however when Dorian’s one steamy night isn’t enough for him he is plunged into a desperate situation leaving him left either to win big or crash and burn. I mean it doesn’t get any more dramatic than that Briana. This is really hot stuff. I really enjoyed The Marriage Pass. How is this book different from your previous series which was also very acclaimed? How have you departed from your previous books?
Briana: Well I like to say all of my books kind of have under, I said you will the same universe. I really took a chance with The Marriage Pass but again it’s kind of under the same universe as my Unconditional series but it’s a little bit different because it explores both unconventional types of relationships but we take a different direction whereas my Unconditional theories explore polyamorous relationships. This one kind of deviates a little bit more and talks about two monogamous people but they have somewhat of a what do you say? A hall pass which allows them to have a night off, a night off from their monogamous relationship and kind of explore and do some things that maybe they kind of had a burning desire to do. It’s similar but different. I kind of say that my books, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Marvel Universe but they’re all kind of connected but they have their own different stories and threads and ties. That’s kind of how I write.
Diane: Well I wondered because you are an actress and you have acted in Fatal Attraction. This does sort of resonate in the sense of Dangerous Liaisons, liaisons that could take you down. They seem harmless enough when you start out. This past year I was really I think fortunate enough to meet the first polyamorous, openly polyamorous woman that I’ve known personally. I wondered and I was very respectful of it, actually hers is an ongoing situation. You obviously are too and speak with a voice that is respectful and open and curious. I wondered how your acting had informed your writing and whether or not they fed into one another in any way.
Briana: They actually do. You mentioned I am an author and an actress. To me they’re kind of two sides of the same creative coin. I’m all about I love touching on topics that may be a little bit more taboo, maybe a little bit more drama filled and things that are not as openly discussed or as widely discussed maybe in certain communities but yes, my acting does absolutely kind of lump into my writing and vice versa. As you mentioned I was on Fatal Attraction and on two episodes actually of season eight. Very, very impactful and is profound those stories and its narrative but I really do pride myself on giving a voice and providing that voice and that outlet to certain areas and to certain communities and things like that whether that’s through my writing or through my performance in acting. Yes, absolutely. They do kind of go hand in hand for me.
Diane: You gravitate to the material in both fields then as a way of good and there’s a way of kind of expressing what this might look like in real life. I think with The Marriage Pass, we’re not going to have any spoiler alerts but with The Marriage Pass we were really teetering there on the edge. I wondered if you viewed it as I did as something of a feminist novel. There are very strong female protagonists. There’s Shantae who is the wife of Dorian and then there is her sister Reagan. Both of them are pretty smart and wily. Is it also feminist in a certain way?
Briana: I honestly without even realizing it Diane to be honest with you I think I do gravitate more to the feminist type of angle when it comes to my stories because I’m even thinking back to my Unconditional series also with strong female protagonists kind of taking the reins, taking charge in those narratives. Yes, I have to agree with that even when I do my motivational speaking. I definitely stand on that platform when it comes to women having a voice and kind of speaking up and doing things of that nature so absolutely. Again, without even realizing it. I think I do kind of color my stories with that element.
Diane: Because these women are no shrinking violets. First there’s Shantae who proposes the one year anniversary hall pass. We are led along on this adventure. One of your mottos is choose your own adventure which I think is great. There is some irony to it in the sense that yes, these are very strong women. Yes, they have I think a feminist point of view in the sense of they might not otherwise get what they really are entitled to without kind of inspiring a bet against the hapless, not so hapless certainly not innocent Dorian, the plastic surgeon who is, now okay so but let’s talk a little bit about, well there’s a couple of threads in there that I think are really pronounced and one is sexual addiction.
He becomes sexually addicted in this story. What starts out as a one-night stand, a one-night hall pass turns into something so much more that basically takes over his life. This kind of sexual addiction you know there’s the irony right because somehow the woman is always portrayed then as the kind of victim of a kind of predator like a kind of a sexual addict when in fact this woman, she is not a victim at all but sexual addiction in and of itself and compulsion. What do those elements mean to you because it’s a little bit beyond than being polyamorous?
Briana: Right exactly and I think that’s something and I’m glad you’re touching on that because one of the underlying threads kind of throughout really anything I touch is some element of mental health. Some element of mental health is a little bit deeper than what’s shown on the surface. With Dorian coming into play with his compulsion and his sexual addiction and how he just allows this and it just begins to consume him. I definitely wanted to touch on how again getting in the mental health aspect and how things of that nature can kind of become all-consuming with your life whether with or without your control and how it is so prevalent and so important to touch on. Not necessarily shy away from it but to touch on it because it can affect other areas as well.
Now was this based on a true story? Not necessarily but can it happen? Absolutely and that is why I wanted to really bring to light the circumstances surrounding what’s taking place with him with the sexual addiction, with everything else that kind of spirals into after that because it is again very prevalent, very realistic and it makes my characters more organic and more real and the circumstances more authentic. It is honestly relatable so you may not have any type of sexual addiction within yourself. I really do pride myself on being able to have these characters speak to every single reader where they may even find some of them carry certain characteristics of even themselves.
It’ll cause them, my readers to question things that they consider “normal” and things that they may even find within themselves or within and others around them so that’s why I definitely wanted to touch on some more of these topics like the sexual addiction and just everything else that’s touched on in the book because of that.
Diane: It is a gift that you’re bringing to light sort of normal circumstances, basically an affluent upper middle class couple who find themselves entangled. I think in the case of Dorian a lot of work gets done by his own ego. I mean he is now convinced that he can manage this whole situation before he goes up in flames basically. We’re not going to give anything away but it is the kind of thing where mental health, it is reliant on awareness. Unless you have a healthy ego that allows you to see yourself with warts and all you’re not going to see oh I might have just stepped over the line. What my biological father used to say to me it’s only compulsion or addiction if you just can’t stop. He just can’t stop. Dorian, he just can’t stop.
I wondered about mental health in terms of reading you’re very accomplished biography. You’re an Atlanta native. You graduated cum laude from Georgia Southern University. Proud member of the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority. Your motto and your ultimate drive towards success is the famous quote from May West. “You only live once but if you do it right once is enough.” I just I love this but I guess I was wondering because you do have a serious side to this whether mental health was the focus for you even academically and in your studies.
Briana: Honestly I didn’t kind of begin to become more of an advocate for mental health until it kind of touched me a little more personally. Of course I’ve always understood the importance of it but sometimes certain instances and experiences really kind of hit home for you. For me though it wasn’t so much in college I kind of started dealing more so with mental health when I faced postpartum depression after having my kids and even more so honestly Diane within the past few months because I lost someone very, very close to me as a result of mental health issues that she was grappling.
For me it’s a personal journey and it’s one of those things where I absolutely want to use my creative outlets again whether it is acting or writing or speaking or what have you. I’ve just started dabbling in screenwriting as well and making movies whatever the case may be whatever that outlet is I absolutely want to use and be a vessel to provide more awareness as you mentioned because that is the first step. That is the first step and people sometimes don’t understand the severity of mental health and how it can impact you. I do want one thing I’ve said before when it comes to my stories.
I want to entertain absolutely but also educate. I also want to educate as well that it’s not like you’re sitting in a classroom reading out of a textbook. You’re kind of getting a very creative fiction for the most part story but throughout it is going to touch on some topics that will kind of give you pause. I didn’t think about that. I didn’t consider that. It’s going to provoke that stimulating dialogue. That I think is going to make my stories resonate even after you close the book because of that message.
Diane: Absolutely and I think the fact and also on the on the upside, on the front side opening the book you can’t put it down. I mean this book is a compulsive read. It has everything to do with great sex scenes. Well-deserved because great sex scenes, very steamy, lots of enjoyment, lots of suspense. Then yes, you don’t look away when it comes to the potential mental health issues. There is an annex to the book that has terminology and actually I think very useful terminology. I wondered and it’s really I thought extremely. You go into types of consensual, non-monogamous relationships, defining them, polygamy, open. Then also talking about the definition. Oh and polyfidelity, polyeffective relationship, anarchy and then the key values for CNM relationships, trust, communication, consent and mutual respect.
I’m personally thrilled that you are dabbling in screenwriting and hope that it becomes more of a preoccupation for you Briana because your characters are also complex. It’s not one-dimensional. Dorian, who is a plastic surgeon so we might go down that road of thinking of him in a type cast way. He’s only interested in body imagery, etc. No, he actually convinces one of his would-be clients, patients that she might be just okay the way she is without this whole menu of plastic surgery. I mean you’re drawing on a lot of complexity. Not seeing all good, all bad. You’re drawing on characters that maybe you feel make the dramatic pace, stay accelerated to keep our pulse rate active but also you seem to have just a good handle on human nature. It’s not one-dimensional is it?
Briana: No, not at all. I think I’m so thankful that you enjoyed the book and you kind of see the depths of these characters because like you said they’re not just one dimensional. They do have layers. We as people have layers and that is one reason why I absolutely love being able to merge my two passions with writing and acting because I think that helps even make these characters come to life even more because I am able to see them and hear them as if they are just standing right there in front of me. That really helps with my character development so I outline the strengths and the weaknesses but they are real.
They’re real. He’s not just as superficial oh body exactly but you’ll see that he actually is genuine. He actually has a heart with certain things and I think that is going to kind of pull at your heartstrings as you’re reading because you may kind of struggle a bit on exactly who to root for. Who is my protagonist? Who’s my antagonist? Who do I want to win in the end because they’re all just so layered and so deep and they are so exposed and vulnerable with their strengths and weaknesses and things that they are grappling with? Each character has their own story and I strive really, really hard to make sure that is brought to light even as we go through the novel.
Diane: An actor or an actress, an actor would just die to have one of these roles because it is the kind of substantive, layered, nuanced oh I’m not sure I thought I was this way but I’ve got this corner in my personality. It’s really an actor’s dream to play someone like this and I hope that these books, I think there’s another book not in the Unconditional series but following this one which will be another novel. Can you tell us a little bit about the other one?
Briana: Absolutely. That one comes out November the 30th and that is Couples Want It. It follows again same universe but we jump into a different story. Actually the characters, a couple of the characters that are in The Marriage Pass which I won’t necessarily kind of give it all away but two of the characters that are in The Marriage Pass we kind of spin off and do a story with them, a story with them. Again same umbrella but we kind of dabble in something a little bit different and I’m really, really excited about Couples Want It because I was very ambitious with the story that I told with this character. That’s all I’m going to say on that one but it’s not necessarily The Marriage Pass Two as some people think but I guess you can kind of think of it like a spin-off a little bit but still in that same universe.
Diane: Love it because each one of these characters could mutate into something else. I mean it’s really I think it’s kind of like it’s a way to kind of bolster your relationship and also do some introspection at the same time. Really ask yourself some questions about what would I do? Would I be able to trust a partner with a marriage pass? You’re asking yourself a lot a lot of questions the whole way through this. I think that of course then it gets really nosy, really fast. I’m sure a lot of people ask you well Briana, are you an advocate for being polyamorous. Do you find that that’s something that we should just kind of drop our prejudices against as a possibility, as a way if people do have the trust in one another and can make their needs known and control their jealousies? I think jealousy is really one of the big issues.
Briana: When it comes to boundaries, your boundaries as well and establishing boundaries and rules and different things like that. It’s like how far can you or should you go but that’s the kind of dialogue that I wanted to initiate from this narrative. It like have those discussions but now let’s talk about okay, how far is too far. What should we do about that? I’m the kind of person like you saying people come to me and ask me all the time. Do I have experience with these types of relationships? Personally I am monogamous. I am very, very liberal when it comes to love is love. I am a huge advocate for the LGBTQ community and non-monogamous relationships because I kind of present it like love is love. Love is love so if that is what works for that particular relationship as long as everybody’s on the same page and there’s no sneakiness and those things like that going on then by all means do what works for your relationship.
I’m just a huge advocate of course for transparency, being open with communication because even in poly relationships and other non-monogamous relationships you can still cheat. You can still be deceptive. You can still have all the things that you can have in a monogamous relationship. Those are no different but that’s where you get into okay, you need to be having those dialogues with your partner or partners just so everyone is on the same page and that there is nothing kind of going on behind anybody’s back.
Diane: Word. Absolutely. I mean I think I think you have to right. You’re creating boundaries and you have to live by them and you have to live by your word when you’re participating in a relationship. It mirrors more traditional relationships, monogamous relationships as well. I think we’re just not as conscious of it because those dicey areas and those edges are just not quite as spelled out.
Briana: Are gray areas sometimes.
Diane: A lot of gray areas and for me jealousy would be like a huge, that would be like a huge component right there but I like how you kind of position it in the spectrum of love is love. Of course we do embrace all of these LGBTQ questioning, all kinds of non-binary sexual identities now. It does kind of invite this conversation as a result of looking at non-binary identities. Some of the institutions like marriage and kind of can we broaden the scope of what being married actually means. This is delightful. We have to pause for a commercial break. When we come back we’ll be speaking with Briana Cole some more and sort of pondering the question of how did we get from Dr. Ruth Westheimer as a sex therapist to Briana Cole who’s really got like an open mind. An open mind and I think a true heart. I think some real meaning there in terms of drawing in from your personal experiences Briana. Couldn’t be a more interesting book The Marriage Pass. Let’s take a break and when we come back we’ll continue the discussion. Don’t go away. We’ll be right back on Dropping In.
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You are listening to Dropping In with Diane Dewey. We’d love to hear from you if you have a question or comment about the show. Send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. That’s the letter email@example.com. Now back to Dropping In.
Diane: Welcome back everyone. We’re here with Briana Cole. She is an author, actress, sex therapist. I would say going bound to be a star screenwriter. You can connect with Briana online at brianacole.com on Facebook, Goodreads, Instagram and twitter at BColeAuthor. Briana, great having you with us. I love that you take us on these twists and turns. We think the story’s going to go one way. It goes a completely different way. It mirrors life. I was kind of prepared for there’s a bunch of clichés out there. What would be a sexual fantasy for a guy and multiple partners and this and that but no. It’s the woman who originates this idea. The woman Shantae in this marriage. She is a professional woman and maybe she’s a little bit more proper, seriously proper than her husband Dorian who’s had a past. He’s had a history of infidelity during their dating relationship. Did she sort of realize that this might have been his Achilles heel and kind of capitalize on it?
Diane: I do want to go back to it’s so funny because in all the year that I’ve been talking with people I’ve never utilized, I’ve never used one of the discussion questions in the book but like everything else in your book it’s they’re spot on. I wanted to touch on the idea of infidelity kind of in the first place. If we’re looking at it as a choice, a polyamorous choice is it really infidelity I guess is the starting point.
Briana: Honestly Diane it really will depend on the couple. Like I mentioned before the break you can have an open, non-monogamous, polyamorous or different variation of a non-monogamous relationship and still be considered cheating. You can absolutely still do that. It kind of comes down to the boundaries that the couple or the triple, however many parties are involved. It comes down to the boundaries that are established. If you step outside of those boundaries well that’s when the deception comes into play. That’s when the infidelity comes into play. That’s when all of that comes into play.
Now again it just depends on the couple. Now for a monogamous couple then yes, when for example when it’s just those two. That’s it. They’re the center. They’re the core. No one else outside. Well then when you begin to dabble into the non-monogamous aspects it can be considered infidelity again unless those individuals remain transparent and with open communication but that comes into play as well where you have to begin to evaluate as you mentioned earlier jealousy and trust and how you’re going to kind of maneuver these new nuances that may have not been in your relationship before but now that you’re beginning to open more and venture into new waters well then a new set of rules may have to come into play. I have to just say that one depends on the party honestly. Depends on what has been established.
Diane: Exactly and we see in this situation which is a joyride, the whole is such a romp. It’s really but there are these like serious questions. The reason that Dorian becomes sort of has infidelity which is a loaded word. Let’s put it that. Let’s be put out there. There’s a lot of judgment in this idea that we have in puritanical America that this is not sustainable. The infidelity that strikes me with Dorian is that he does go subterranean. He does become a secret, he gets a second secret life from his wife. That’s kind of the betrayal. That’s where the rubber meets the road. He’s not observing the boundaries from somebody that I think that’s a pretty generous offer that Shantae put out there. It’s kind of like looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Briana: You take a mile like what are you…
Diane: He kind of then he realizes like it’s too little too late that he realizes that the marriage is the cool thing, that the sanctity of the marriage and all that it offered is kind of what he wants but let’s put it this way. People are capable of going, straddling both horses. Liking the idea of an adventure, liking the idea of security so it’s really tempting to think about coloring outside of the lines here and putting your toe in the water as long as your toe doesn’t become your thigh, your neck and then you’re in over your head.
Briana: Totally submerged.
Diane: You’re right. Totally submerged. I wondered also about the character of Shantae who she is brilliant and she is also looking for something. I mean she was looking for a man to also fill her needs. She’s not asexual. She is also sexual. Here we have two very sexualized women. One more than the other because Reagan is the epitome of being sexualized and kind of using it to her ends. My question is what about the scheming, conniving woman then like Black Widow and this kind of in Fatal Attraction. How does that play in? It seems to me you’ve got a lot of kind of dichotomies going on here. How did you navigate that when you were writing Reagan’s character?
Briana: I have a lot of fun honestly when it comes to those types of characters. They are the most complex. They’re the most entertaining. When you read about them, when you write about them and I just have so much fun kind of navigating all the treacherous depths and highs and lows and mountains and valleys of Reagan’s mind or any character that I write like that. I think it’s the most thrilling not only to read but to write because that’s the kind of thing you honestly again that kind of gets into the feminist talk that we had earlier.
That’s the kind of thing where you really it kind of can blow someone’s mind that you have women that knows what they want, are so liberated and they so focused on their goals and are able to map out what they want, when they want and to put these things into place to make it happen whatever that may be. I think it is just really again kind of bringing that awareness that we as women we can do that as well. Even when I actually had a reader reach out to me and was asking about how likely is it that a woman would even offer her husband a hall pass. The things women do to make men happy or something like that. She said how do you know it was to make him happy? How did you assume it was to make him happy? How can you not think that maybe the woman may have wanted that?
That’s a different conversation that I think some people are kind of more in the traditional aspect and not ready to have those conversations about women kind of being more vocal and more upfront about what it is they want and being able to kind of be the mastermind of putting certain things into play. It’s kind of like one of those things you, what do you call it? You don’t see that coming. You don’t see it coming. That’s what makes it even more of a thrill to write because I can really bring those to life and highlight those on the page. When you read it you’re kind of taken aback like whoa, I underestimated her. It makes it well. It does.
Diane: Totally and I mean I think that you move away from the stereotype of the woman of innocence who’s just going along to get along and doesn’t know what she wants, doesn’t aggressively pursue it. I mean Shantae could very well create some sort of role reversal. She has a kind of dominant husband, more traditional on his sexuality. Then maybe she wants to call the shots and can’t figure out how to bring about that kind of identity for herself. Not that she wants to be a dominatrix but let’s say she does. Maybe he’s decided that the thing to do would be to it’d be safer to do that anonymously then it would be to try to like change the dynamics in the relationship just as a for instance.
I think this idea that you’ve broken through of a woman having a mind like having a mind. You can conspire and in this case co-conspire to bring about the ends that you feel are justified. I think we’re just not supposed to do that. Briana like you stepped like way out of the lane here. I mean do you get a lot of backlash for this or how does it kind of…
Briana: I have. Most of my loyal readers I know who’ve been with me since the beginning they kind of know what to expect when it comes to me because honestly that’s the kind of person that I am. I know I can allow certain things but I’m not afraid to use my voice and speak up and advocate on the behalf of women who are still trying to find their voice and increase the awareness.
I consider myself very educated, very smart. Being able to kind of do certain things. Would I do certain things that they did in the book I’m not going to say
That but I think it is very, very possible and I think it is honestly just one of those things where you have to look, take a step back just to look. Say wow, they pulled that out. She did that. It’s kind of it’s this is one of those things like just a highlight to women. Kudos to women.
That’s why I just find it so funny that you asked your earlier question about the feminist movement and I’m like I think I do that without realizing it honestly because that’s kind of the highlight for a number of my stories. I think it just makes it that even stronger because it does break those traditional boxes of women’s “role” and a man’s “role”. I’m not afraid to touch on that and to just bust it wide open and let’s talk about it. Let’s shine this. Let’s see what we have.
Diane: Yep. I think you’ve upended a lot of things but one of the central issues then is power whether women are entitled to have power and what power, what constitutes power for men or women. I mean I can remember going to therapy ages ago and having the therapist look at me and say well sex, power and money those are the three things. Those are the three things that emanate power. It’s interesting to me that you first of all have engaged, have imbued these women with power. One is economically powerful or self-sufficient and the other isn’t. It’s intriguing that the one that isn’t becomes the one that becomes the sexually addicted but it could go either way.
I think that this idea of power and women having it unafraid of having it sexually or otherwise and going after what we want. I mean let’s face it there was no real victim in this story because Dorian was all about this. It’s not like he came up short with this. This is not a guy that went away from the table hungry. Let’s put it that way. He had quite the banquet. Let’s not feel sorry for Dorian but there was a lot of poetic justice but I’m just sort of back on that little mention about how did we get from Dr. Ruth Westheimer who used to just kind of clap her hands and say now girls don’t have an orgasm or something and to looking at these bigger questions.
How has it become more about life these touchstones? How has it just become more imbued sociologically with people, women and power differentials? How is it because our understanding has changed or how do you see that?
Briana: Partially understanding but partially more of a confidence that women are stepping into that power and not feeling afraid to step into that because maybe before societal norms and everything’s kind of hush-hush. Even though someone may have had certain thoughts or desires they may not have felt comfortable to be able to express them without feeling judged. Now here it is 2021 in different areas when it comes to whether that’s books and movies and music and TV shows and celebrity encounters and things like that. I think just as a society we’re moving into more than just a more liberal and being able to feeling completely comfortable with having these discussions.
It’s just because it’s more aware. It’s more prominent and again that is better understanding as well. Like you mentioned at the back of my book I do include some terminology and stats and things like that so that people who are reading it you can see that you know what? It is more commonplace than maybe I would have originally thought. That also encourages people to step outside of their little box when it comes to not just doing it for themselves but just even their way of thinking of being more embracing of the community that may differ from what you consider is “normal” or way be more traditional, back in that sense.
Now because I am more aware, I am more comfortable with initiating these dialogues, having these discussions gaining even more of an insight into something that’s not necessarily what I may do even in my own relationship but I’m open to having those discussions and kind of gaining a better understanding. That helps us grow together in life just with others around us because we are more embracing of it. Then at the end of the day you just have that resonating feeling of this is love. It may differ from what I would necessarily want for myself but it’s not worse. You know what I’m saying?
This is just a different type of community that I need to be loving and embracing and just kind of being more comfortable stepping into. That was my goal like I said earlier I want to entertain but educate as well. This is bigger than Dorian and Reagan and Shantae. This is kind of more on a bigger scale. I really hope my readers get that and in turn share it with others when they pick up a Briana Cole book.
Diane: Absolutely. I think you’ve succeeded in that at the macro level tolerance and embracing others who you don’t necessarily have to have a narcissistic stake in what they’re standing for but you point out that four to five percent of people living in the US are currently participating in what is known as the non as a consensual or ethical non-monogamy. Wrap our minds around that.
I also wanted a moment where, we have just a moment to go. It’s been such a joy speaking with you but I also want to acknowledge the fact that you really did bring us into yeah an affluent African-American environment community, family. At one point there is some there is some bro on bro violence because well there had to be. Somebody was getting possessive about someone else’s babe there but you also took us I think on a tour, an unflinching tour of normalcy within the African-American community. In addition to feeling sexually confident and more open and more tolerant which I think is a great message for you to have delivered in The Marriage Pass I also felt like this was very much normalized, these people in their lives.
Thank you to you Briana Cole. We’re out of time but thanks for being with us on Dropping In. Thank you to our engineers Matt Weidner and Aaron Keller, to our executive producer Robert Giolino and most of all to your listeners. Remember to stay safe and be sure to choose your own adventure. Till next week thank you for dropping in.
Thank you so much for dropping in. Please join Diane Dewey again next Friday at 8 AM Pacific Time and 11 AM Eastern Time on the Voice America Variety Channel. We’ll see you then.